Continuing their search for a new bartender, the Council of Creators were absolutely stumped on who to pick as their new bartender.
"Guys" said Nerd. "I've literally just got the best idea and I don't know why we didn't think of it until now."
Cdrzillafanon looked over to Nerd. "Who exactly made you the main character?" he asked. "Let's focus on someone else. Mosu, do you have an idea?"
Mosu glanced over to him. "Yeah" he said. "It's a good idea. Nerd can tell us all about it."
Smiling, Nerd continued with his idea. "We've been looking at other celebrities to use as our bartender. Why don't we just use one of your own kaiju? Take some hot kaiju out of their universe and have bartender try-outs to see who could be the best."
Koopa really liked that idea, saying "That's actually pretty good. We've got tons of kaiju to pick from." The search for a new bartender had began...
Meanwhile, in some abandoned factory somewhere in some universe, a gang of kaiju were all hanging out. One was Pepezilla, a large green frog kaiju. Another was King Dong, a hairy perverted monkey. Stood next to him was Stingo, an incredibly deformed Lazy Town creature. Hanging out at the other side of the room was Trollzilla, Gawdzila and Shrekzilla who were playing cards.
Pepezilla was staring out of the window with his hand on his chin. "Hmm..." he said. "One day..." He was surprised to find two rough ogre hands suddenly massaging his shoulders. "Shrekzilla..."
"Shush" whispered Shrekzilla. "It's not Ogre yet." He intended to take things further but Pepezilla swatted him around the face with his tail.
"Enough of that! You've already gotten us into enough trouble" said Pepezilla. "We are getting a bad reputation online. Do you know what I saw the other day?" he asked.
"Do you?" Shrekzilla sat down. "If it's not pornographic, I'm not listening."
"Now that's something I can get into" said King Dong, listening in on their conversation.
Pepezilla sighed. "I saw a meme of the planes crashing into the twin towers. My face was photoshopped into the smoke. It literally made no sense, yet people were laughing at it. It's just... Why? Why make such a thing? It's such a stupid idea."
Stingo waddled up to him. "WHAT'S WRONG WITH A LITTLE BIT OF DARK HUMOUR?" he screamed, shattering multiple glass panels at once.
"That's the thing, Stingo" said Pepezilla in a calm fashion. "It wasn't dark humour. It was literally just a bunch of people dying and my face plastered on it."
"THAT IS REALLY FUNNY" screamed Stingo. "I DON'T SEE WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT!"
Gawdzila punched him around the back of the head. "Ur a betch an u hve no sweg. Y u do dis?" he asked. Stingo crouched down and cried in pain, so Gawdzila slapped him again to shut him up. "We need our good reputation back again" said Pepezilla. He began to rub his hands together and formulated a horrible sinister plan.
Back in the bar, the Creators were waiting for Nerd to unveil the first kaiju that he had chosen. The door opened slightly and he squeezed through to meet his fellow creators.
"You've chosen a kaiju?" asked Cdrzillafanon.
"Is it one of mine?" asked BRK. Cdr's phone suddenly rang. He answered it and heard Indominus Rex 2016 on the other end.
"Who is it?" asked Mosu.
"It's Indominus. He's still at that RWBY cosplayer's house discussing waifus. What do you want, Indominus?" he asked, slightly annoyed that such an important moment in bartender history was being interrupted.
"Is it one of my kaiju? Or a RWBY kaiju? Is it Team RWBY?" he asked in excitement.
Cdrzillafanon gasped in surprise. "How... How do you even know about that? No, it's not RWBY-related."
"Oh" said Indominus. "Well does Scoobs have his shirt on or---"
"---Whatever" said Cdrzillafanon, hanging up the phone. "Well Nerd? You've chosen a kaiju?" he asked.
Nerd's face went red. "Umm... Sort of" he said. He opened the door and showed his friends what was waiting inside. Within the bar was a giant mass of pulsating flesh with a gigantic mouth coming out of the top of it. This mouth was lined with teeth and was dribbling blood.
"What the fuck is that" said Cdrzillafanon in sheer disbelief.
"It's um... It's one of mine. It's called Baby" explained Scoobs. "He's probably my most explicit kaiju." Baby began smashing up everything in the bar and then used its long tongue to pull glass drinks into its large throat.
"Now, I know there's a lot of room for improvement, but this could work" said Nerd, ducking to avoid multiple shards of glass that had been thrown through the air.
"Be honest" said Koopa. "This was an accident, wasn't it?" he asked.
"I'll have another kaiju back here in a couple of hours" said Nerd, ashamed of himself. The door closed behind him.
Just a few hours later, the Creators were gathered outside of the bar again.
"I wonder what Nerd has prepared for us this time" said BRK, hoping it'd be one of his kaiju.
"Well" said Scoobs. "It can't be worse than Baby, can it?" He stood around, looking somewhat embarrassed.
The door opened and Nerd walked through. "Okay" he said. "This time it isn't a murderous psychopath. You remember Nicholas Cage, right?"
"Yes, I do" said Cdrzillafanon.
"Well, I've got the next best thing!" He led them through the door and presented them a very strange kaiju. It was purple and had a strange beady body.
"Humarok?" Scoobs asked.
"Well, we all loved Nicholas Cage" said Nerd. "Humarok is pretty much exactly like him!" he happily shouted.
"But... How?" asked Scoobs. "If I'm remembering correctly, he's not based on Nicholas Cage. He's based on someone else I don't think we're even allowed to mention the name of" he said.
"Sounds like a hasty rewrite to cover up a tasteless reference from a few episodes that got removed" observed Cdr. "Also, how is he going to do anything if he has no arms?" he asked.
"Just take a look and see" said Nerd. Mosu walked over to the bar and got on a stool. Humarok turned to face him.
"Zip zop?" it asked.
"I'll have a coke, I guess" said Mosu, hoping for something spectacular. Humarok nodded his head up and down and then smashed his face into the counter. Attempting to grab some glass cups, he smashed the rest of them and created a giant mess. Activating the drinks machine, cola poured all over the floor and made an even bigger mess.
Scoobs looked at his friends. "I think we should let someone else pick the bartender..."
"I'll do it!" said Mosu, eager to get one of his favourite kaiju in as the bartender.
While the Council of Creators were busy finding a replacement for their bartender, the Meme Squad were out in the streets of their own universe looking for trouble.
"Alright guys" said Pepezilla. "We need to make people think memes are great. We're going to find someone in need of help and then we're gonna help them!"
The rest of the Meme Squad stood around waiting for trouble to come along.
"Go find some trouble then!" shouted Pepezilla.
The meme kaiju split up to find people in trouble. Stingo managed to find a little girl trying to get her cat out of a tree.
Instead of screaming, she turned to him and asked "can you please help me?"
"SURE THING!" shouted Stingo. "COME DOWN LITTLE CAT! COME ON! VICTORY IS MINE! GOOD REPUTATION IS MINE! MY NAME IS STINGO!" The cat in the tree tried to climb higher to escape Stingo's loud screams, but suddenly exploded into a cloud of fur. Stingo looked down at the crying girl. "YOU'RE WELCOME!"
Meanwhile, Trollzilla found a woman in an alleyway being robbed.
"Oh my god, somebody, help me!" she screamed.
"I'll help you!" he shouted. He walked over to the lady and acted as if he was gonna help her. He then pushed her over and helped the robbers take her wallet. They ran off with the wallet to rob more people. "I'm so good at helping people" said Trollzilla.
Having watched the whole ordeal in the distance, Pepezilla put his face in his hands. "Okay, this clearly isn't going to work."
The Council of Creators were waiting outside of the bar yet again.
"I've still got some kaiju in mind" said Nerd. "They're pretty good, I promise."
"Nerd, you brought a psychopathic demon and a creature with no arms to come serve drinks" said Cdrzillafanon. "It's better that Mosu finds a bartender."
The door opened and the Creators walked through.
"What do you think?" asked Mosu. He had selected Geharha as his choice of bartender.
"It's certainly better than Baby" said Koopa.
"Why isn't it one of my kaiju?" asked BRK. Everyone sat up at the bar and asked Geharha for some drinks. He did just as they asked and successfully served them drinks.
"I've got to say, Mosu. Geharha is a really good bartender" said Cdrzillafanon, complimenting Mosu's efficiency at selecting kaiju.
BRK suddenly spat his drink all over the table. "What the hell!" he shouted, disgusted at his drink. He inspected the cup closely and found that there was wiry hair floating inside of it. "Hair!" he shouted. Everyone else spat out their drinks and threw their cups away from them.
"This isn't gonna work" said Koopa. "I've got an idea though." Suddenly, a portal opened up behind Geharha and dragged him back to his own universe.
The Meme Squad were hidden in an alleyway wearing balaclavas and holding guns. Pepezilla listed his mask. "Clearly we aren't gonna get the good reputation of memes back through acts of kindness... Mostly because you clearly don't know how to be kind. Instead, we're gonna take it back by force. You know dictatorships? We're basically gonna get one of those."
Shrekzilla then lifted his mask. "Oh, I'd love to get a ship. I'll get out of my swamp and dine in luxury on a cruise with young, steaming hot men, and lots of---"
"---Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there" said Pepezilla, eager to stop Shrekzilla from saying anything else.
"We r gun shot up teh pepul rite?" asked Gawdzila, preparing his gun.
Pepezilla nodded. "Alright, let's go" he said. They all ran out of the alleyway with their guns (except Stingo, who was armed with a microphone) and began using their weapons. The city immediately descended into chaos! Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria! People ran around screaming as the Meme Squad took control.
Stingo began pointing at things and declaring them as his. "THIS PIZZA STORE IS MINE! AND THIS ROTATING DOOR! THE SMASHED UP CAR, THE DRUNKEN BAR, THEY'RE ALL EMPHATICALLY MINE!"
Koopa had prepared a kaiju for the role of bartender. "I've assessed the three kaiju we've tried out so far and I realised what was wrong with them" he said.
"What do you mean?" asked Nerd. "My choices were great and perfect."
Koopa opened the door and allowed the Creators to look inside.
"You've got Titanosaurus?" asked Scoobs.
"He's a real kaiju!" said Mosu.
"That's the point" explained Koopa. "The kaiju you guys selected were fan-made while the Toho kaiju are all professionals. They know how to handle things. That's why I thought it was perfect to choose Cdr's Titanosaurus clone."
The TV in the bar conveniently switched on as it usually does in movies. "Catastrophe!" shouted the live news reporter. "Manhattan was thrown into chaos today when six giant creatures took up weapons and began shooting up the city! They've not actually shot any people yet and it doesn't seem like they want to, but they've been trashing up all of the buildings."
The dimensional portal machine suddenly lit up and activated.
"We gotta stop the meme kaiju from completely trashing up the city!" shouted BRK.
"What about Titanosaurus?" asked Mosu, eager to get a drink from him.
"Yeah, for now he's fine as a temporary bartender. Come on, let's go" said Scoobs. The Creators ran through the portal.
The Meme Squad were still busy destroying the city. King Dong had gotten too hyperactive and had began performing inappropriate acts on random objects he could find. The other meme kaiju were throwing bricks through the windows of a McDonalds.
"Stop right there!" shouted the six Creators in unison.
"What?" asked Pepezilla. "Who are you?!" he shouted, demanding an answer.
"We're the Council of Creators, albeit without our seventh member, but we're still gonna kick your ass!" shouted Nerd.
"Oh, he's hot" whispered Shrekzilla, rubbing Gawdzila's arm.
"Man, that's hot" said Nerd.
King Dong joined his fellow meme kaiju. He smiled and licked his lips. He whispered "expand dong". His dong expanded. The end of it transformed into a fist and it launched towards the six creators. War had begun. Each creator got into a fight with a meme kaiju. Mosu took on Pepezilla, Scoobs took on Trollzilla, Cdrzillafanon took on Shrekzilla, Nerd took on King Dong, BRK took on Stingo and Koopa took on Gawdzilla. The fights lasted for several minutes before Scoobs accidentally hit King Dong with his beam attack. Everyone stopped fighting. They all charged towards each other and got into one giant fight. They finally defeated the meme kaiju and tied them up. The Creators celebrated their victory as a portal opened up underneath the Meme Squad, sending them back to where they came from.
"Alright" said Koopa. "Let's go get some drinks."
Hours later, Pepezilla was still thinking about what had happened earlier. "Did we really just try to get a good reputation by trashing an entire city?" he asked himself. "Am I really that stupid?"
Suddenly, they heard a knock at the door.
"Who is it?" asked Pepezilla, still looking at the ground.
"It's some piece of shit" said King Dong.
"That's no way to speak about someone, Dong" said Pepezilla. "We should treat people with respect if we want to be good."
King Dong opened the door again and let the kaiju in. "It actually is a lump of crap though", he said.
Confused, Pepezilla stood up and turned around. In front of him was a brown lump of poop with one black arm. "Who are you and what are you doing here?" asked Pepezilla.
"Somebody please kill me, Heritage no longer wants to live!" cried the creature, desperate to die. It suddenly exploded and spread crap up the walls. In Heritage's place was a contract. Hidly Poop and Manpissed suddenly walked through the door. Gawdzilla rushed to punch Hidly, but was held back by Manpissed, acting as his body guard.
"Your friend exploded" said Pepezilla, wiping crap off of his arms.
"Yeah, I rigged him with explosives. All he wants is to die. It's the one way I can temporarily make him happy" said Hidly, picking up the contract and handing it to Pepezilla. "His body will come back together soon and bring him back to life."
Pepezilla looked at the contract. "Poop Squad?" he whispered to himself.
"You're the Meme Squad. Heritage, Manpissed and I are members of the Poop Squad. Both of our groups have been defeated by the Council of Creators. We say no more!" He gave a sick smirk. "We propose an alliance."
TO BE CONTINUED IN EPISODE SIX
Council Of Creators
- Indominus is still seeing the RWBY cosplayer he spoke to over the phone in the second episode.
- This is the first episode in which The Meme Squad makes an appearance.